First of all – I had to start by saying THANK YOU over and over and over to all of you who sent me messages, emails, texts, and left comments on my blog post on Monday. You all helped me see things from a positive light and … well… talked me off the ledge basically. Also, I learned that apparently we aren’t alone and so many people I know who have long-standing successful businesses are having super slow years this year too! Get it together 2017! What the heck?! Anyway – along with all the love and support since I posted – I also had a moment Monday that put everything in perspective for me and I wanted to share it here…
Nothing quite hits home like starting a day just like you normally would – checking emails and social media messages when Facebook decides to pop up with the “remember when” posts and takes you right back to a time in your life that you already think about more often than you’d like, but perhaps today you really needed the reminder more than ever.
After my post on Monday I was reminded that it had been two years since we found out I would miscarry our first ever pregnancy.
The old Instagrams popped up fresh in my Facebook feed… reminding me of how we were trying so hard to deal with the pain we were going through at that time. I felt like we were at rock bottom… totally gutted from all of our hopes and dreams seemingly vanishing with this loss.
I wrote about how I had already ordered a book on pregnancy that arrived the day after we got the news we would lose the baby…
… I tried to convince myself each day would be okay…
… and James and I spent the entire month of May on a grief spree, as we called it. We did all we could to get out of the house and try our hardest to be okay (even though we were feeling so broken inside). The post below was from an impromptu Brewers/Cubs game we went to.
The funny thing in retrospect is that we were at a good place financially. We weren’t worried about a budget or bookings or anything. But the one thing we wanted so badly in the world… to be parents – was always just out of our grasp.
Now, here we are – counting bookings and trying to iron out a new budget… but do you know what? WE ARE PARENTS. And when I remember that fact, and when I see these two boys we prayed for for over 6 years, and am reminded of the first baby we lost during that long journey – oh my gosh – nothing else matters! What was I ever worried about? Truly?!
We can make this work – just as we have always made it work. The important thing is that we have EACH OTHER. We have TIME together. We have our HEALTH. And that is all we need!
So, as so many of you suggested, I’m going to do my very best to soak in every. single. minute. during this quieter season, because two years ago – I never could have dreamed this would be our reality. We are so blessed.