What Success Means ~ Chicago Wedding Photographer

This post has been brewing in my brain for quite a while.

At first I didn’t want to post it – for various reasons. But lately it has been coming up in my mind more and more… and since part of the way I work through things is by writing – I figured I’d finally write it down to get it off my chest. So here goes…

I’m just going to say it:  The wedding photography industry is a lot like high school.

There are cliques. There are the artsy kids, the preppy kids, the nerdy/technology kids, the drama club kids, the seniors, the freshmen, and so on. And throughout all of those groups there are the cool kids (who are seen as successful for various reasons), and then some wanna-be cool kids (who do anything they can to get closer to the cool kids). I say this without judgment – I’m just trying to explain this in a way that kind of makes sense. And of course - within all those groups – there are nice people who have good intentions (I’m not saying it’s all bad).

But there are also a lot of people who are in this for the wrong reasons. (Or maybe they started out with good intentions, but got lost along the way.) They started to see all the cool kids (those successful in the industry’s eyes) and convinced themselves that THAT is what success means. It seems like some people will do all they can to climb up the ladder of “cool” to be known among other photographers in the industry – and to be honest – it makes no sense to me.

Because none of this is about who knows who, or who is cool, or who was at what event. It is about running a business that pays the bills and makes you happy. Truly happy.

So as just as a little reminder to myself when I start to allow myself to be led astray (because we can all get a little off track sometimes and forget what is really important, including myself) – here’s a little list I made about What Success Means, and What Success does NOT Mean to me. (If you define success differently, that’s totally fine. This post is meant first and foremost as a reminder to myself to keep my goals in check.)

 

Success to me Does NOT Mean…

1. How many likes you have on your Facebook page

2. How many followers you have on Twitter

3. How much validation you get on your Instagram photos

4. Who you know or hang out with in the industry

5. Speaking at WPPI or any other event

6. Hosting a workshop (for the wrong reasons)

7. Shooting a certain number of weddings

8. Shooting at a certain venue

9. Shooting a destination wedding

10. How many comments you get on your blog

11. Being so busy you can’t think straight & telling everybody, “oh my gosh I’m sooo busy”

12. Getting your work published on blogs

13. Booking weddings at $_____ (fill in whatever number here you’ve convinced yourself means you ‘made it’)

 

Contrary to popular belief – none of the things above mean that you are successful. None of them are about your clients, or those you serve. All of those things are about YOU and about appearances. But, it can be really easy to get caught up in all of that if you let yourself. It seems the industry is consumed by all of those things. It seems everybody around you is trying to work their way up this ladder that they’ve convinced themselves exists.

So I’m doing my best to write my own rules for what success means for me, and if I ever find myself getting caught up in all the appearances and events and networking that can take over sometimes – I’m going to come back to this blog post to remind myself what really matters…. what success really means to me.

 

Success Means to me…

1. Working with clients who trust you and love your work.

2. Creating work you’re proud of, that lights your heart on fire, and that you are passionate about.

3. Paying it Forward to causes and people you care about.

4. Helping answer others’ questions and openly sharing your experiences to help others chase their dreams as well (whether via emails, blog posts, or workshops)

5. Being authentic and real.

6. Giving clients images that they will cherish and love for a lifetime.

7. Creating lasting relationships with clients.

8. Getting paid a fair rate that allows you to pay your bills while doing what you love.

9. Balancing work and life. (“Never get so busy making a living that you forget to make a life.”)

10. Changing how people see themselves… helping them realize they are beautiful.

11. Accepting your own artistic voice.

12. Living a life you’d be proud to tell your children about. All of it.

 

Because your clients don’t care about what awards you won, who you know or hang out with in the industry, or how many comments that post got on Facebook. They care about you treating them like people and not a paycheck. They care about getting quality images they love, that make them feel something. They care about the experience of working with you. They care about feeling like their investment was worthwhile…

Because contrary to what we convince ourselves of – none of the rest of it matters. And none of the rest of it will give your business anything to stand on.

If there is no heart or passion behind what you do… If you’re doing this for the notoriety or awards or followers… If your business is all about YOU, and not about THEM… it will not last.

 

Do this because you love it and could not imagine doing anything else. Be kind. Pay it forward. Focus outward on others, not inward on yourself.

 

And in the words of the oh-so-wise Conan O’Brien….

 

And that has been my public service announcement for the day… I’ll get off my soap box now and back to regularly scheduled programming tomorrow – promise!;)xoxo!

 

 

show hide 29 comments

May 22, 2013 - 12:19 pm

Natalie - Such a great post! Defining what success means to you is the best way to find fulfillment and leave a legacy behind that you can be proud of!

May 22, 2013 - 12:24 pm

caitlin elizabeth - preach.

May 22, 2013 - 12:32 pm

Brooke - You always say it so well. And I love that you’ve made yourself available to mentor other photographers – you lead by example and are absolutely right to define success with feelings and meaning instead of fame and fortune. Keep preaching – the choir is soaking it up this morning. ;)

May 22, 2013 - 12:35 pm

Amanda Miller - I love your what Success does mean to you list! And maybe it’s because I just had a kid, but #12 is becoming more and more important to me. :)

May 22, 2013 - 12:45 pm

Liz - Wonderful post, Christy, and really timely for me. We’re talking expansion in a bunch of ways and we keep coming back and reassessing: “Is this bringing us to the REAL end goal?” Because, it’s so easy to get wrapped up in the numbers or popularity game without even noticing that you’re doing it. I need to stop myself A LOT.

May 22, 2013 - 12:55 pm

Dani - I’m not going to lie, when I get to a post with a ton of words, I usually check my email, edit some and come back to it later to scan through it – no offense, but I gotst work to do! But this post – this post is amazing. And I needed it too. Bookmarked for life. I think about and worry about too much stupid things like facebook likes and Umbrella Syndicate posting wedding photos before the actual photographer posts their own and how I can’t seem to get stuff published sometimes – and then I sit back and remember that I am getting paid to do what I love, I have only the most amazing clients and seriously – who cares about facebook likes? So, super thank you for throwing this out there this morning. I love it and appreciate it so much.

May 22, 2013 - 12:56 pm

katie - So perfect and so timely. Thank you for putting this out there. So many of us need to remind ourselves of this daily. And even though I’m not a wedding photographer, these same exact sentiments apply to all types of photography. So thank you for saying what I know I needed to hear.

May 22, 2013 - 1:03 pm

jessica - I am so proud to call you my friend.

May 22, 2013 - 1:09 pm

Krista A. Jones - What an amazing post! I’ve never thought about comparing this industry to high school but it’s absolutely the case. It’s so easy to get caught up in all of those trivial things you listed (I mean really, who cares about the number of instagram likes your photos get) and I’m so glad you shared this!!

Amazing!

May 22, 2013 - 1:13 pm

Kristi Chappell - You gave me chill bumps…good read, thank you!

May 22, 2013 - 1:19 pm

Lauren - I love you for posting this. I think it’s so hard to really figure out what it means to you to be successful. But once you do it’s like a thousand pounds have been lifted off of you. Love you!

May 22, 2013 - 1:26 pm

Tami - you have no idea how this has hit me during this time. no, seriously. we should chat sometime soon…kinda need a good Christy Tyler debrief. ;) and now I think you’re even more awesome for quoting Conan…:)

May 22, 2013 - 1:47 pm

Jenn - Yes. All of this, yes. Sometimes we really need these reminders to ourselves to keep our heads centered where they’re supposed to be.

May 22, 2013 - 1:49 pm

Christen - Well, WE LOVE you and your work. Thanks, for a million lifetimes.

May 22, 2013 - 1:56 pm

Katie Jane - You are amazing, Christy. Thank you for this. xo

May 22, 2013 - 2:08 pm

lauren fair - YES. So so good!

May 22, 2013 - 2:12 pm

Katie - AMEN. You are so amazing and I am always inspired by your posts and your outlook on things. I totally agree with everything you wrote…including that the photography industry is a lot like high school. I’ve been thinking a lot about what success really means to me, and living a life worth living is so much more important than likes or other things like that. When you die, people aren’t going to say oh she had 30,000 likes on Facebook or she shot a wedding on the moon…those aren’t the things that matter.

May 22, 2013 - 2:48 pm

Amy Sayre - So well said. I have been trying to define success for me lately and this post was truly an inspiration.

May 22, 2013 - 2:51 pm

Kate O’Brien - Thank you for posting this! Everything you wrote is so so true! It’s easy to think you’re not part of “the cool crowd” in this business but really, clients have no idea there is a cool crowd and they’re the only ones who matter. It’s very easy to forget that!

May 22, 2013 - 2:51 pm

Elissa - Keeping it real. Love it, Christy :)

May 22, 2013 - 3:28 pm

Ashley Link - a-freakin-men!!!! i think i might just print this off and hang this as a reminder. i was talking to one of my friends about this exact thing and how i feel there are cliques! you are right on point, my friend. this post is honest and genuine! i love it! thank you for being real! :)

May 22, 2013 - 3:51 pm

Kandise - Oh yeah, co-signed. It’s the #4 on your first list that most grates on my nerves, haha. One point I’m less sold on is this: the idea that the things we achieve for ourselves not mattering is one that seems to be prevalent among photographers and I don’t really care for it (in other industries, people are allowed to be proud of the things they’ve accomplished and use them as markers of success… there’s a lot of conflation among a subsection of photographers as photography being some kind of form of Christian service, and I am reeeealllly not sure that’s accurate). You’re definitely right about it being personal, since I definitely consider some of the things from both lists to be among my personal success indicators. :)

ANALYSIS TIME DID YOU KNOW almost all the items on your first list are quantitative, while the items on your second list are qualitative? You definitely threw down on the “things that can be accurately measured = not success; things that are arbitrary and open to interpretation = success!” and that is SUPER interesting to me, because it goes against everything people are taught about setting goals (specific, measurable, actionable, etc.).

I don’t think anybody appreciates my rambling comments on posts like this, but I like a blog post that makes me think. But geez girl, this is the second time in the space of a week you’ve published a post on a topic I’m still drafting! You’re clearly just a little bit ahead of me in the hive mind.

May 22, 2013 - 5:25 pm

Leah Laurent - I am not a photographer, or connected to the photography industry in anyway (except for stalking your blog..), but this post resonated with me as an adult, anyway. (*Sort of adult, technically an adult..??)

I think that high school clique analogy works applies to any profession setting. It certainly applies to the world of education! In a time when public education and public educators are under attack, this post was exactly what I needed to read today!

NOT success:
Test Scores

Success:
Happy, healthy students, who make progress everyday and WANT to be in school. Students who learn that LEARNING is a life long process and not a test score!!!

Thanks, lady!

May 22, 2013 - 6:30 pm

karen forsyth - very well said. wise words for any artist/small business to consider. everything is subjective in the eye of the beholder, which we always need to remember. we all start this to express ourselves not to fall once again into the trappings of society. keep on:)

one of my favorite quotes:

work for a cause, not for applause.
live life to express, not to impress.
don’t strive to make your presence noticed,
just your absence felt.-unknown

May 22, 2013 - 6:35 pm

Trish - Loved this post. LOVED it. Hit a nerve because I go through these same things and I need to remind myself about what is really important. :) Thank you!!

May 22, 2013 - 7:53 pm

Ali - I mean, lets be honest, it’s not JUST this industry – life is like high school haha. I totally agree with the “what defines success” list. I think we get stuck because those things aren’t measurable. We don’t know we’re changing people unless we see it or they tell us. I think that is why it’s so important to encourage each other and vocalize how valuable we are to each other! Thanks for this post and preaching!

May 22, 2013 - 8:02 pm

Erica Rose - Just LOOK at all of these comments, Christy…obviously what you said has struck a cord with a lot of people. I think that the pull to be successful in the outward ways is something that is tempting for all of us at different points along the way, thank you for the push back in the right direction. Sometimes we all need a little reminder about what is truly important!

May 22, 2013 - 11:56 pm

Lauren C - I’m so thankful that there are photographers out there like you that write such truths and inspire me to take a moment and realize how much I’ve accomplished and forget about the things that don’t really matter. I get so hung up on those things and it really kills my spirit sometimes. Thank you for your reminder today.

May 23, 2013 - 12:13 am

LeolaK - BRAVO!!! The timing on this is perfect! It can apply on so many levels. Thank you for putting it out there!

Erin + Brian ~ Lily Pond Engagement ~ Chicago Engagement Photography

I’m pretty sure Erin and I were either best friends or sisters in our former lives, because she and I hit it off instantly during our initial meeting! Erin ended up having to come alone because Brian was working late… and what was supposed to be an hour or so long meeting chatting about her wedding & getting to know them as a couple – turned into us pretty much sharing our life stories over beer for almost 3 hours. Ha! I loved this girl immediately and just knew that I would feel the same way about Brian as soon as I met him! (And I was right, of course!)

We had the most perfect Chicago evening for their engagement session at Alfred Caldwell Lily Pond, followed by a few skyline photos along Lake Michigan. The way these two love each other is one of the sweetest things I’ve ever seen. And poor Brian with his spring-time allergies was such a trooper as I dragged him from flowering tree to flowering tree for these photos!

The end of the session was my favorite though because I handed Erin my camera to look through a few of the pics to see what she thought, and she looked up at me with tears running down her face and said, “I love them!!! You really captured US.” And then I nearly started to cry myself. (Whew… pull it together Christy!)

How do I get so lucky to have such amazing clients who trust me and love me as much as I love them?! I will never understand it… but am forever grateful for it!!!

Erin & Brian – I hope you love these even more than you did when you first saw them on the back of my camera!! xoxo! We can’t wait for your wedding in October!!

 

 

Looooooove!!!:)

 

show hide 7 comments

May 21, 2013 - 1:10 pm

Anna - Gorgeous!! You’ve definitely inspired me to check out that pond before work some time!

May 21, 2013 - 1:25 pm

Emilia Jane - Awww YAY! Love these. Erin you are GORGEOUS girl!!!

May 21, 2013 - 2:12 pm

Lauren (PB&G) - As always, I love these!!

May 21, 2013 - 7:30 pm

Amanda Miller - That last one!!! LOVE!

May 21, 2013 - 11:38 pm

Bec - Love that last one, she is going to be an amazing bride.

May 22, 2013 - 12:26 pm

Carol - Beautiful setting for a beautiful couple!

May 22, 2013 - 1:21 pm

Lauren - She is gorg! And I love her maxi dress! I love the shot of her looking back over his shoulder! So beautiful!

Summer Bucket List Challenge ~ Chicago Lifestyle Photographers

I think I’ve made it pretty obvious after attending What If this past February that I’ve made a decision to live my life with more intention. I don’t want to just waste the minutes, days, and hours away on things I could care less about (I’m looking at you social media!)… and instead have done my best to consecrate my time and spend my energy on what is really important. I’m not saying it is easy or that I’m totally on top of this every day (we all fall off the wagon now and then) – but overall my life has felt VERY DIFFERENT (in a GOOD way) since returning from the Dominican Republic. I’m so much more content, calm, and balanced. (And that’s saying a lot for me!!!);)

So – in an effort to continue living with intention – James and I have decided to take part in The Happy Family Movement’s Summer Bucket List Challenge!!!

I met Jenny and Josh Solar (the faces behind The Happy Family Movement) at What If this past February (shocking, I know… more awesome people who came into my life thanks to What If!) and I absolutely love these two! Watching how they are with their kids and seeing how much focus they put on quality time together makes me SO excited to have a family of our own some day to implement these things as well! But the thing is – you don’t have to have kids to focus on quality time and living with intention… little families just like ours can do the same darn thing! So hop to it people!

I’m especially excited to take part in the Summer Bucket List Challenge because as wedding photographers our summers tend to be consumed by work, and before we know it – they’ve come and gone in a flurry of travel, editing, blogging, running to meetings, and shooting! BUT this year – we plan to do things differently. Thanks to the regular office hours we’ve now set for ourselves, and the overall balance we’ve been working REALLY HARD at keeping between our lives and business – we plan to actually ENJOY our summer this year and to do SUMMER THINGS between all the hard work!! You know… like swimming, camping, barbecuing with friends – all that fun stuff!

So without further adieu - I give you… mine and James’ Summer Bucket List!!!

  • Go camping
  • Ride our bikes to get ice cream in Lincoln Square
  • Take Chloe to the dog beach
  • Read a book for fun (or many books!)
  • Go to a water park
  • See a concert (preferably outdoors)
  • Play in the backyard with the kids / grill out at my sister’s
  • Go to the Terrace & share a pitcher of Spotted Cow
  • Take ballroom dance lessons
  • Take James to get his tattoo finished
  • Have a picnic dinner at Montrose Harbor by the skyline view at sunset
  • Hang out at Jeanna & Mark’s house on the lake with friends from home
  • Get a turtle sundae at Michael’s Frozen Custard
  • Eat popsicles & Luigi’s Ice as often as possible
  • Read books & drink wine on the back deck at night
  • Make s’mores over a campfire
  • Go on a boat ride
  • Go to a farmer’s market (preferably in Madison – because it is THE BEST)
  • Go strawberry picking & make at least one batch of fresh jam from mom’s recipe
  • Find an outdoor pool in Chicago & swim more regularly
  • Go to a drive-in movie & watch it from the roof of our car

 

The Summer Bucket List Challenge begins today – so get over to The Happy Family Movement site to register!!! =) I know we are so excited to make the most of our summer instead of letting it just fly by like we have in the past!!!

 

 

Oh – and you know we got a head start on our list last night with reading & wine on the back deck!!;)

 

show hide 8 comments

May 20, 2013 - 2:27 pm

Emilia Jane - Love love love love this! So fun!!!

May 20, 2013 - 2:31 pm

Emily McFadd - Love your Madison bucket list items! :D

May 20, 2013 - 2:40 pm

Erin - Oh man, I feel like summer is already signed away. All weekends are booked through June — fun stuff, every minute, but I’m already feeling September-mourning. I love this idea of a summer bucket list, though! Three cheers to living the season intentionally!

May 20, 2013 - 4:08 pm

Lauren Wakefield - Love it. And I’m with you on the pool one! And the drive in! I was seriously just talking about this with Evan and Erin last night. Drive in triple date??

May 20, 2013 - 6:05 pm

Kandise - Nice! I’ve been working on my list this weekend, too. Do you have some weekends you’ve kept free, or will these all be weekday activities?

May 20, 2013 - 7:23 pm

Christy - We have a few weekends free (one we set aside, and others because August is slow for weddings this year) – but plan to do most of this on weekdays unless they involve getting friends/families involved who have regular work week schedules to follow. If it is just the two of us though – we can take random weekdays to do fun stuff! :)

May 20, 2013 - 10:54 pm

Amanda Miller - I seriously love this idea! And everything on this list!!! I think we should do margs more often as part of this living life more thing! :P

May 22, 2013 - 2:59 pm

Catherine B - Oh! I just noticed your picnic at Montrose Harbor item, makes me happy! Excited for our first picnic of the year…

Stephanie + Dan ~ Independence Grove Wedding ~ Chicago Wedding Photography

I think my mouth was ajar all day at Steph and Dan’s wedding because I just couldn’t get over how beautiful everything was!!! I can only imagine all the time Steph & Dan put into planning this beautiful affair! Independence Grove was the perfect backdrop for their romantic blush toned wedding, which was accented with cozy candle light and a fire roaring in the corner of the room… perfect for the breezy May day outside.

But much more important than all the gorgeous details – was the love between Steph and Dan. Dan made sure to take care of Steph from the moment he saw her at their First Look, all the way through the end of the night. He was carrying her dress and flowers, wrapping her up in a blanket during our chilly (and super windy) golf cart ride to the bridge for photos, and shielding her from the sudden rain/hail that came down in the middle of portraits. It was the sweetest thing to see him always looking out for her… it just warmed my heart.

Steph & Dan – I’m sure you’re enjoying your amazing honeymoon in Hawaii, but I hope for a moment these images bring you back to that beautiful day! Back to the overwhelming love felt from your family and friends… there cheering you on (& flash-mob dancing!) during the biggest day of your lives. I already knew you two to be awesome people – but meeting your family & friends and having them all welcome us with open arms and be just as kind to us as you both have been from the start made it all the more obvious that you two are truly amazing people. I hope these images warm your heart now and in the years to come as you walk through life together  - in the words of Pastor Bob – holding each other with both hands. We wish you nothing but the best, and know you will have a beautiful life full of laughter and love!  xoxo! ~ Christy & James

 

(Loooved these bridesmaid dresses!)

Just radiant!

Pretty sure Steph has one of the best smiles I’ve ever seen… I just loved this moment!

Such a sweet First Look!!

It was so windy her veil attacked Dan! haha…

And then out of no where – it started to rain/hail!! Crazy!

The room at Independence Grove looked unbelievable! So pretty!

And then – a surprise flash mob dance!!! Amazing!!

 

Such an unbelievably gorgeous day from start to finish! Congratulations again Steph and Dan! Have a fabulous time on the rest of your honeymoon!!!

 

. . . . . . .

~ Vendors ~

Church: Holy Cross Lutheran Church (Libertyville)

Reception:  Independence Grove

DJ: Elite DJs

Video: Kevin Wagan Video

 

show hide 5 comments

May 17, 2013 - 2:22 pm

Caili - NO WAY on the hail shots! So epic. :) The bride got ready in such a dreamy room!!! Love this wedding.

May 17, 2013 - 2:39 pm

Alison - Gorgeously soft, romantic wedding! Beautiful!!

May 20, 2013 - 2:22 pm

Emilia Jane - Lovely lovely lovely!!

May 20, 2013 - 4:07 pm

Lauren Wakefield - Their portraits are gorgeous!!! I love the lilac trees!!! And I love the last shot!!

May 20, 2013 - 10:58 pm

Amanda Miller - They look SO SO SO happy, I love it!!! And that last shot!

Melissa + Steven ~ Montrose Beach Engagement ~ Chicago Engagement Photography

I’m so excited to share this engagement session with you guys – of course because these two look fabulous, but also because they are our dear friends!!! I’ve known Melissa since we were tiny little kids playing basketball against each other in junior high (if you’re surprised that I played basketball – you ought to be. I was terrible. haha), and we’ve only gotten closer as the years have gone by! We both were in Madison attending UW at the same time, and most recently lived in Chicago – where we made some crazy memories together on our double-dates before those two left us for the frozen tundra of Wisconsin! The four of us don’t get to double date and hang out as much as we’d like to now – but it was SO GREAT to have them back in the city for their session, and to celebrate James’ birthday a few days early last weekend!

Anyway – now that you know the history of this photo shoot and our friendship – I should probably go ahead and show you the photos, huh?! haha;)I love these two so much!!! And I can’t wait for their wedding in the Dominican Republic next February!!!

 

Hello you two!! Gorgeous!

I’ve always loved Mel’s eyes… stunning!

A quick little change & off we go!:)

Steven did goooood!

 

Ahh!! Love these two!!!

 

show hide 6 comments

May 16, 2013 - 2:22 pm

Katie Jane - These are stunning. I especially love the ones of them sitting under the curve of the trees. So pretty.

May 16, 2013 - 6:10 pm

Amanda Miller - I’m kind of obsessed with the last 4 images, including that gorgeous hanging ring detail! Love!

May 16, 2013 - 8:52 pm

Erica Rose - These are seriously gorgeous, Christy. I feel like I know these two and the natural feel lof their relationship just by looking at these photos.

May 17, 2013 - 2:25 am

LeolaK - Ohhhhhh….gorgeous!!!! Her eyes are stunning!!! Look at you…Dominican Republic…and Hawaii!!! WORK IT!!!

May 17, 2013 - 2:26 am

Melissa - Thank you so much Christy!! We love them and love you!!

May 18, 2013 - 5:02 am

Elissa - That last shot! Yes!